Working additional hours, I have grown accustomed to not sleeping in, even when given the opportunity. Today I had that opportunity, but was up at 5:00 a.m. worried that being Thanksgiving I would not be able to find a place that sold packaged coffee. Fortunately “America runs on Duncan” and in addition to the bagel and cream cheese and large cup of house blend marked with “Joy” I was able to get a pound of whole bean.
Not being able to sleep in on Thanksgiving should have its advantages. The only people I thought would be up at 5:00 would be the moms doing battle with half frozen birds and bags of giblets. It would be the perfect time to be out on the streets accompanied by only the morning star (by which I mean Venus.)
The morning star was there, but so were a few others, who for one reason or another did little to help my want of solitude. I have lived far from the place of isolation of late and I did not find it a selfish thing to want the time alone, but then again that is not what the day is for. Yes, I thought, I should just be happy with my “unwanted” companionship.
Day to day living had been brutal (in a busy way)and tomorrow it may resume that course. I had many a reason to call on my “allies” in the last week and have been able in that time to discern the swift and the slothful. Fortunately the diligent make up for the less than diligent and I did have their company when I most needed it. Today I did not need such company as I do not want to think of work, hoping that every one of those who had been so helpful to me are today in the presence of their real allies.
I too wanted the presence of my real allies and during the evenings, I have been receiving this, though not in a literal way. And today, when one is called to be thankful for many things, but especially for these, I was in their presence again, though again not too literally.
I hated the urban environment today. Mostly I love it, but today I wanted a cold Ohio morning hearing my mother walk around the kitchen or hearing the phone ring knowing it was a cousin. But here it was not bad and once back home, I returned to the practice of the week….backing up life.
Nothing seems to need be lost anymore. Pixels and numeric digits flying down pipes to reside who knows where; I have lost too many physical things not to do this. I had spent the previous evenings sorting and organizing files, photos, and folders and though that is not complete, I did start uploading as well.
I return home now to see the photos uploading slowly to the Google Drive. The letters and journals, the poetry and prose were already there. Other interfaces look cleaner, but it is easier to share here and no one’s life need to be totally locked down, though perhaps they need to be less revealing than they have become on social media.
I played Johnny Cash’s cover of Lennon’s “In My Life.” His aged voice and down tempo style makes it even better than Lennon’s. It also makes it sadder, though there is nothing sad about it.
Well it is sad, but not in a bad way. At a certain point in the song, I thought of C. who I lived next to in college and how he died a young man and how he spent his life knowing he would more than likely die young, though not allowing that to be a reason not to become a physician and have a family. And I now there are some who question the “fairness” of having a family, but all of us spend every additional minute of our lives closer to that reality with too many choosing to say we will handle that tomorrow, while not living today. C., who made for an incredible man, never did this.
And I thought of Marina.
And I was glad, the lyrics said, “I love you more.” For who could say, “most?” That hardly seems fair. But we can say “more.” We are called to that place with a few, are we not? We have our small societies and the share button on the drive page that is now frantically (but not too frantically) slurping up photos reminds me of that. It reminds me of the few I could say to “I love you more.” It is Thanksgiving and there is much to be thankful for….”the astounding wonders and confounding truths”….but it is the “love you more” people “that have found us” which we need be most thankful.
Image: Jeremey Brownscombe’s “First Thanksgiving at Plymouth” (Public Domain)